I was talking with a friend the other day and we were talking about her family’s upcoming photoshoot with me in a couple weeks. She had gone back and forth on when she wanted to do the session because she wanted photos of her daughter for her first birthday, but didn’t feel she was quite emotionally prepared for the whole process. She has a toddler at home, in addition to the baby, and was trying to come up with different ways to prepare her toddler for the session, incentives to bring, rewards, etc. While we were discussing this, it occurred to me that I have never fully explained how my family sessions work, and I feel it is SO important to come into them with this knowledge that I am about to share.
When we think photoshoots, especially with young kids, many people bristle at the idea. The thought of wrangling a screaming toddler, holding them down and waving a sucker in their face just for once forced smile doesn’t really sound fun. I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be like that, and it won’t be! If you show up to your session with the mindset I talk about in this blog post, you will have an amazing experience, and your kids will love you more for it.
When you show up to your session, it is important for you to explain to your kids that you are here to have fun. You are doing this session to spend time with them and capture real, loving, and genuine moments with them. Let them know that you can’t wait to spend this special time together. Please do not tell them that if they don’t smile they will be in trouble. With the way I run my sessions, we will have so much fun the kids don’t even have to force a smile. I will start off by getting to know your kids. What are their likes, dislikes, favorite characters, colors, hobbies, etc.? I want to be a safe space for them and let them know that I am on their side by relating as much as I can. My next step will be to let you as parents know that your session will be entirely based around your kids. They will have a threshold, and I will never go over their threshold or make them do more than they can handle. This is especially true with toddlers. If your toddler starts crying because he doesn’t want to be held, put him down. If he doesn’t want to hold your hand, let him run. If he wants to jump around instead of looking at the camera and smiling, let him jump. The more we try to contain the kids, the more the session will go awry because they are no longer in control. We will take LOTS of breaks for little ones so they can get all their energy out. This is why I don’t put a specific time limit on my sessions.
Instead of specific “poses” per say, I create “opportunities”— opportunities for you to play with your children, enjoy their presence, celebrate what makes them special, and just have quality time together. I may say “now Dad, throw your little guy up on your shoulders and bounce him around Mom and sister while they watch”. This isn’t a pose, and it may feel silly, but it is a chance to bring out those beautiful and unbelievably priceless smiles from your kids that all the candy in the world couldn’t generate. I may say, “now stop and squeeze together for a quick look at the camera”. It’s just a couple second transition from play mode to picture mode, but just enough to capture what we need to get without the kids getting antsy. We will constantly be moving from place to place, and won’t stay in once place long enough for the kids to get bored. And if they do get bored and wander off, we follow instead of trying to wrangle (unless we’re near busy streets lol). Make this an opportunity to allow your children to explore and discover new things.
When I was talking to my friend about her session, she was telling me how much she loves having fun with her kids. But when it comes to photoshoots, the pressure to create picture perfect smiles and poses is too much and causes so much stress. She was ready to come to my session ready to fight a battle, rather than create magic. Let me tell you this— first of all, there is no such thing as perfect. I would much rather capture fun than fake smiles. Secondly, I will NEVER force a child to do something they don’t want to do. I may coax, encourage, or play fun little games with them to get them to sit on your lap, for example, but if they don’t want to do it, I will not make them. I want you to show up ready to have a great time. I want you to leave the stress at home and come ready to adventure with your kids (with a photographer following you around). Your pictures may not be “perfect” as in everyone is looking and smiling, but they will be perfect because we have captured your family being exactly who they are— family.
In the end, no matter what your kids end up doing during the session, my goal is that you will be able to look back on your photos with fond and loving memories. You will walk by your photos on the wall in the hallway and get a fuzzy feeling just looking at them because you had so much fun with your kids. The amazing part is, those memories are not only in your memory anymore. They are captured and framed to be remembered forever, even as those memories fade in your mind. Actual feelings and emotions tied to a photo forever. I mean, what more could you ask for??
Below are examples of what I truly considered to be the “perfect” session. This little guy was a ball full of energy, but it didn’t stop us from capturing what was really important!
